your momma knows more than you think she does

Last week I was cleaning (and dancing "too big") to one of my FAVORITE artists, Usher. I'm kind of embarrassed to admit that, since the rest of this post is about faith in Jesus. While I'm blurting out the lyrics to "There Goes my Baby" I stop dramatically, drop the broom and put both hands out to the side to sing the bridge with feeling:
"and it feels just like it's the first time every time we get together
 lovin you feels better tha-n, anything, everything,
 with all my heart, you don't need a ring"--WHAT?
I stopped singing and thought, "Did he just say that?" I know I'm going to sound 70 years old at my ripe 33 but i genuinely thought, " This is what is wrong with the world. With young girls. I should know, because for years it was wrong was wrong with me."
now, I'll admit that i overthink EVERYTHING (just ask my husband--or better yet my mother), so I overthunk this. You don't need a ring. He is actually saying that he loves her so much that he doesn't even have to prove it to her. That is absolutely ridiculous, for that is exactly what a man SHOULD do. prove it. But I kept singing (& dancing), and didn't think too much else about it. until...

A few days later, while pinning (the thing I love to do even more than cleaning) and I saw a picture that said this:
Chivalry isn't dead, it just followed wherever being ladylike went.
Yup. Girls are doing the proving these days. I wondered more specifically, "What are my girls going through? What are they having to deal with at school?" "What are their fears? I know how bad it was when i went to school, i can only imagine..."

Then yesterday, the straw that broke the camel's back was a tv show. a lifetime movie actually (wow, apparently this is also guilty pleasure's confession hour for me...) This movie had another focus but I kept noticing how it communicated that girls need to take the initiative in relationships. WRONG again.

So, let's look at one of the greatest romances in the bible, Boaz and Ruth. I'll be quick to the point (finish rapping it and we'll move on together...):

1. Men like a challenge, not a sure, desperate female.
Ruth didn't go after the man, she just put herself in front of him so that he could see her, and he did. Be noticible, and be yourself, but don't be obvious. (Ruth 2:1-3)

2. The RIGHT man is worth waiting for.
There are only a few verses here so it seems like this was whirlwind romance: Ruth worked in the fields, Boaz spoke to her the first day and they were untited in love by Friday of that week. That was NOT how it went. Read closely, Ruth 2:23. That means she worked in those fields. Worked. For months. She probably didn't even see Boaz some days. She lived life and didn't FOCUS on the man. These verses are not about how God comforted her as she cried out to him at night to PLEASE let Boaz just look at her and smile the next day so that she knows that he knows... (you know you've thought it....) I had a huge problem with this growing up. I prayed for my husband to come. Which is great, but not if it's your FOCUS. Pray for your relationship with Jesus.

3. Your momma knows more than you think she does.
Ruth took the advice of an older, and wiser, woman. How many times do we ask our friends what they think? How can they possibly have any more insight than we do--they're OUR age. Ask your momma, ask your grandma, ask someone grown at church that you trust. God will direct them to give the answer you need--even if it's not the answer you want. (Ruth 3:1-5)

4. Boaz PROVED that he could take care of her. Men of God are made to provide. How did he prove it? 

• Instead of making more money for himself, Boaz gave her the best of what he had to offer (Ruth 2:8-9)
• Instead of having them over to showboat, Boaz sent more than they needed home with her (Ruth 2:15)
• Boaz watched her actions and learned that she wasn't after his money, she wanted a life with him (Ruth 2:10)
• Instead of bragging to his friends about something that didn't even happen, Boaz protected her good reputation (Ruth 3:11-13)
• Instead of giving up or making the girl feel like she had a choice to make, Boaz was willing to do difficult things to have Ruth as his wife. This one really blows my mind: Boaz told Ruth that he would marry her and that when she became pregnant they could give the child her dead's husband's last name instead of their own, so that particular family line could continue. Now that's giving. Men will do whatever noble thing needs to be done to have the wife they want. (Ruth 4:7-10) 

So... I hate it for you, usher raymond, you've got it all wrong. We DO need a man to prove it. If you can't, if you won't and you'll just walk away, we better let you walk. We better not be fooled by your games. We better ask our momma what she thinks of you. We better wait on a good one. We better work hard ourselves. And we better focus on the only man we really need, Jesus.