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Thursday, December 20, 2007

chance to feel

why the title?

one of my favorite songs, by a great band. veda. from the album, 'the weight of an empty room.'
the lyrics actually say, "i don't wanna deny my heart it's chance to feel"


it's the most wonderful time of the year

every year i can't believe that Christmas here. and even more than that, i can't believe that it is over. so this year... i won't get caught in the rut. i won't let it pass by without my knowing. i'll see it where it is. i felt it just a few nights ago in the car, alone. it's here. this is it. i can enjoy or i can complain, once again this year, that i just don't know where it all went.

so... christmas carols are all over the radio. my favorite oldie: "here comes santa claus" the one where it sounds like he's saying santy claus. i can't remember who is singing...

and i dunno why, but i love that wham, "last christmas i gave you my heart but the very next day, you gave it away. this year to save me from tears i'll give it to someone special." hee hee.

i love the musical programs. the lights, even the poorly done ones.

i love christmas trees. they are everywhere and they are a beautiful expression of life.

i drove in my car listening to that music and giggling at some of those blow up things in people's front yards and i thought, "this is it. this is christmas."

i watched my family at thanksgiving laugh together while daddy wrote, "a chrysler 300 and some surprises" on his wish list and thought, this is it. this is christmas.

again when i received gifts from the kids. saw thier christmas t-shirts and sweaters, when we sang "let it snow let it snow let it snow, while it was 80 degrees outside, this is it.

and in all of this, i must... see Jesus. it is, in fact. the celebration of his birthday. and everything that followed that night. when i think of the fact that Jesus loves me at all, I am humbled. and to think that He wants to care for me and be my friend is sometimes more than i can take.

so this year...i will not let it pass me by, not any part of it.
it is here. right now and as i wrap each present and watch as it is torn open, i will take it all in.

merry Christmas.