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Wednesday, June 29, 2011

man! i feel like a woman

it's funny being a woman. to say our mind is complex is one of the grossest understatements one could make.
and the way we let ourselves worry...what a waste of time.
i like to lie to myself and announce to others aloud that i don't worry about things like "other women do." and i don't worry like many of my female family and friends do, but i do worry just plenty. for example...
a couple of weeks ago i was at my favorite asian-flavored nail salon getting a pedicure and a fill-in. the lady who sat in front of me asked me how i was doing, how school was going, if i was happy to almost be out for the summer ...and made lots of other small talk. and then it happened. (now keep in mind, i'm a frequent flyer in this establishment.)
"would you like eyebrow wax today?"
what?! an eyebrow wax!? i've never had my eyebrows waxed. i over-pluck them on my own occasionally and thank you very much. do i need my eyebrows waxed? oh my word, what must they look like for her to ask me that? maybe i DO need my eyebrows waxed....
so for what seemed like an hour (which was probably the next 5 minutes, tops) i worried myself to death about my eyebrows and kept non-chalantly trying to look around my suggestive "friend" to see my own reflection in the mirror behind her. it was really to far away for me to do an honest assessment...dang.
finally it was time for me to get up and wash my hands. i walked across the room breathing deeply awaiting the close-up view of these monsters...and just as i suspected. they were fine. thin and needing a FILL IN themselves at the very least.
good grief, charlie brown...all of the things i COULD have been thinking about during that time. should i get an ice cream or not when i leave here? what should wear to church this sunday morning?sometimes i wonder why i even vote... is oprah really retiring if she is going to have that whole network? won't that be more work for her? why couldn't i have been oprah? if i had that much money i would......