i've been one of those people who have wanted more. more out of life. more out of a relationship. more money, more time, more... everything. but not in a greedy gluttonous way, just in an unfulfilled way.

i like to see the beauty in things. and while those two things may not make not seem like they fit together, they will...

i was in an office recently in the tiny town where I grew up. a town that i wanted some days desperately to escape from. a town where the people are not known for their intelligence or physical beauty, but for thier cars. thier job. thier church. thier...tan. how high their teased and sprayed hair is. a town much like that one that julia roberts lives in in the runaway bride.

so while i was there in this office two couples stopped by to have thier taxes prepared. they were gonna "git that free money from the government."

the first couple, a man and woman, came in together.
"mrs. ____, when is your birthday for this form"
"...1934. woo wee i'm so old."
"mr. ____ you didn't mind givin her a ride here did you?"
"well ah-course not, i rightly had to she is so old!" he banged his knee and shook with laughter, proud of his joke.
i found out later that she wasn't just a friend, but his "swee-dart." they had been sweedarts for quite some time, since thier first loves had past.

they asked about the office workers father, they grew up with him. since they hadn't had to file a return, they didn't know that he has been dead for almost 2 years."

later the other couple stopped in, two old birds. women. southern as the day is long. not from this tiny town of mine, but another, much like it, a few miles south.
"today is her birthday, my friend." they squealed with delight. the conversation flowed with unnessary, harmless gossip...
"well she moved over to that OTHER home. i heard the food is better there. but did you know they don't take insurance."
"he found a woman almost 15 years younger than him. what is that?" "well when you git to be our age i don't reckon it matters all that much!"

they went on for nearly a half hour catching up with the office worker, with each other...
"i sure do miss him [my husband.]"
"i wouldn't live anywhere but ______"

and while they were giggling like high school girls and just gabbin on i thought, beauty. this is it.
this is life.
this is what i want. to be that old and that happy. they were talking about actually looking back on life and being happy about what they saw, what they did. who they loved. how much.

that's what i want...