a short, but true, story

on my way to get my nails filled in after school (sigh...i should really give that up.....)
but anyways, on the way there i talked to my mother. i love my mother. the older i get the more i realize she is right (more about that some other day). she was cooking breakfast for supper, and said that she would wait for me but i insisted i would be fine.

the guy who did my nails was painstakingly slow, but i wasn't complaining because i had no where to be and meticulous can easily be translated "beautiful nail" (yup, singular. if you've ever been, you know why that's funny.)

so...sorry, momma. after all that talk of breakfast, i did wind up at the waffle house.

all by myself.

and it was glorious.

on a monday evening. at the high top. just me and the staff and a few other patrons.
but the waiter, my waiter, looked like a model. i kid you not. he was the kind of cute that makes women not be able to make words. i coughed when he approached me because i had to in order to wipe the cheesy grin off my face. hilarious. i really felt like a 7th grader. i texted 2 of my friends (one of whom, will not be named, asked me to sneak and take his picture, LOL. what's more, i tried, but i felt horrible and couldn't go through with it.) And everytime he came over to talk to me, i was really in awe that this bird was working in the waffle house.

and then, he opened his mouth.
again. and again. and again. (boy, sometimes less really IS more, i need to remember that.) while he tried to talk to me for the next 20+ minutes, i figured out WHY he was a waffle house employee. not that it's not a respectable job, i'm just sayin...surprising.

but fortunately there was another thing there, from beginning to end, that was all that i dreamed it would be and more...my all star special: 2 eggs scrambled, grits, toast, 3 pieces of bacon and the waffle for "dessert." mmmmm......

so i went back to dreaming over my food and the man i really would like to have in my life.

the. end.

my very own steel magnolias

truvy says, "Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin' across your face."

i feel like it is marchin across mine some days, but at least i have my own clairee, m'lynn, ouiser, shelby and truvy's to hold my hold while it does...

recently a close friend of mine experienced a death. her daddy died. i'm close to her and her momma. we were sitting around the table, days after and she remarked, "what do people DO during times like this who don't have a church family...?" i thought about that for a minute. and it's true. God's people do tend to rise up in times of crisis. if you have a church family you know that you have an automatic, guaranteed support system, some vigilant workaholics. and they are sincere in thier desire to minister.

but i must admit, God gives families in all sorts of ways. i know that those same church people will fly to my aid when my daddy dies, but so will another group of ladies.

my friends.

in no particular order, but as soon as they can, i know, i KNOW that my core will come.

when i watched those church ladies, my friends, i saw you in thier eyes....

claire and carrie, making sure that everyone had a place to sit or a napkin under thier drink.

fran and sarah, cleaning that kitchen just as hard as they could, washing dishes and mopping the floor.

jo anne and barbara, collecting money and planning meals for the next week for the family.

kelly and lisa, sitting in the living room telling the stories that make us howl with laughter through our tears.

ashley and renee, sitting next to me, in strength not saying a word, just being near.

kim, hugging.

and no doubt, there would be more...

thank you, girls. thank you for crying with me now, while i wait for mr. right, and discover, yet again, that wasn't him. thank you for encourging me not to give up on my dreams. thank you for writing me love notes and buying me housewarming gifts and for "hooting and hollering" when i was on that stage as teacher of the year.

thank you for being steel magnolias kind of friends.

man! i feel like a woman

it's funny being a woman. to say our mind is complex is one of the grossest understatements one could make.
and the way we let ourselves worry...what a waste of time.
i like to lie to myself and announce to others aloud that i don't worry about things like "other women do." and i don't worry like many of my female family and friends do, but i do worry just plenty. for example...
a couple of weeks ago i was at my favorite asian-flavored nail salon getting a pedicure and a fill-in. the lady who sat in front of me asked me how i was doing, how school was going, if i was happy to almost be out for the summer ...and made lots of other small talk. and then it happened. (now keep in mind, i'm a frequent flyer in this establishment.)
"would you like eyebrow wax today?"
what?! an eyebrow wax!? i've never had my eyebrows waxed. i over-pluck them on my own occasionally and thank you very much. do i need my eyebrows waxed? oh my word, what must they look like for her to ask me that? maybe i DO need my eyebrows waxed....
so for what seemed like an hour (which was probably the next 5 minutes, tops) i worried myself to death about my eyebrows and kept non-chalantly trying to look around my suggestive "friend" to see my own reflection in the mirror behind her. it was really to far away for me to do an honest assessment...dang.
finally it was time for me to get up and wash my hands. i walked across the room breathing deeply awaiting the close-up view of these monsters...and just as i suspected. they were fine. thin and needing a FILL IN themselves at the very least.
good grief, charlie brown...all of the things i COULD have been thinking about during that time. should i get an ice cream or not when i leave here? what should wear to church this sunday morning?sometimes i wonder why i even vote... is oprah really retiring if she is going to have that whole network? won't that be more work for her? why couldn't i have been oprah? if i had that much money i would......

sometimes those who ride high need to be knocked down a notch...

To whom may care/be interested/or even be sinisterly, secretly happy about my mishap, here goes the story...

i got the (left) 4-inch leopard print heel stuck in the sidewalk. thinking back it was the kind of occurance that seems like it's happening in slow motion...i was walking REAL BIG, like i do, (if you know me, you've seen it and i'm sorry...) and that tiny excuse for a foundation wedged itself in one of those on-purpose cracks in the sidewalk. my ankle rolled to the outside, all the way down until it touched the ground. i winced without making an audible sound and then as the ending of this one fluid motion i pushed against the tiny heel, forcing it all the way back upright. and i just knew someone had seen it. i knew there was no way he would miss it...

he? oh yeah, sorry...i was @ farm bureau @ the time of aforementioned mishap (which is another story involing a deer & the civic) and the claims assessor (who was cute and telling me all about his upcoming vacation to the jazz fest in new orleans) was walking back in didn't see a thing. i kid you not. not the heel stick, not the roll, not my left hand on the ground, not even the awkward wobble and quick steps forward to "right" myself. i wasn't even "caught."

He opened the door for me and I, in severe pain, smiled real extra big and sat in the lobby thinking funny things so as not to shed a tear when i really wanted to do that girl thing of cry real hard, as hard as i could force tears out, and wail "ooooowwwwwwwww-wuh!" and then stop. abruptly. and wipe my tears while i laugh at how ridiculous the whole thing was. you know the cry.

so now i'm @ home with an iced and elevated ankle and i'm contemplating which "outfit" i'll wear with my "fancy" flip flops tomorrow...

i'm so vain. i probably think this post is about me.

i love pictures that look different.

and i plan to get better at taking them,

but for now i love to edit them..

prone to wander

i love some new christian songs, contemporary, they're called.
and i could list some of them and how thier lyrics move me to tears...they do.

and yet, after growing up in a southern baptist church, and returning to the very same one now as an adult, i must admit, the old hymns are what really get me.

last night i was sitting beside my daddy, looking up at my sister (and others) leading in "come thou font of every blessing." i love that song, but some of the old hymns words are like the reading the king james version of the bible to me. too complicated initially, too much, require thought...

but when you do listen to them, think on them. oh the truth in them...

the verse that gets me every time is this,

oh to grace

how great a debtor

daily i'm constrained to be

let thy goodness like a fetter

bind my wand'ring heart to thee

prone to wander, Lord, i feel it!

prone to leave the God i love...

here's my heart, oh, take and seal it.

seal it for thy courts above.

i could have written that. easily. i feel like i've spent my life begging God to help me, to help me stay close to Him. (And i've learned that He's given me what I need to stay, I just need to use it. To do it.) "prone to wander, Lord i feel it, prone to leave the God i love!" i do love him and i do still, sometimes, want to wander. i'm amazed after all he has taught me how i still sometimes want to go my own way. sometimes i consider it for a moment and sometimes for days i'll struggle with his lead...

but......there is nothing new under the sun...the writer of this hymn in...(hold on, whilst i google when it was written...) the 18th century was a pastor and hymnist?? Robert Robinson...a pastor? he wanted to run the wrong way in the 18th century, like i do today, in 2011? that is somewhat relieving.

some other old hymns bring me to tears too...

-it is well with my soul: "my sin, not in part, but the whole. is nailed to the cross, and i bear it no more. praise the lord! praise the lord, oh my soul!"

-great is thy faithfulness: "thou changest not, thy compassions they fail not. as thou has been, thou forever wilt be."

-blessed assurance : "Jesus is MINE, oh what a foretaste of glory divine! this is my story, this is my song. praising my saviour all the day long!"


-how great thou art: "and when i think, that God, His son not sparing, sent Him to die, i scarce can take it in. that on that cross, my burden gladly bearing, he bled and died to take away my sin, then sings my soul, my savior god to thee....how great thou art, how great thou art.................."


what hymn gets you everytime?

sing it today.

sing it right now at your computer for Him.

and sing it more often.

a 31 year old's valentine's...

life can be painful.

i am 31 years old. i am currently single. i love valentines day. i love ridiculous romantic displays and i love how much children say "i love you" to me at work, because i know that they mean it.

i have made some stupid decisions. i have made some wonderful ones.
today, @ 31, i am the sum of those decisions. both good and bad.
and i am determined not to get in the way in of my life...what it can be.
and when i came home today to run with my lab, i felt painfully, excrutiatingly, sorry for myself.

and then i went to my parents house. my intention was to give to them, i cleaned her house and cooked dinner for them and then my sweet father came home...
he made me feel special, made me feel small (in the best kind of way). he has always had a way of doing that. and today, as he so often does, he did it, without saying a word...i can't even type this without tears streaming down my face, but i suppose that's the best part. his card spoke of remembering a little girl who cut out construction paper hearts to make homemade valentines and how much he loved her...and how much he still does.

and then my whirlwind of a nephew blew in. "CHRISSSSYYYY!!!!!!!!!" he yelled and then said, "here" cocked his head and said, "i love you." and we played for the next hour. he wore me OUT.

so, with a 52 year old and a 2 year old who love me more than they can really put into words, my 31 year old valentine's day wasn't quite so sad after all...