hmmm....

i've been reading about the crucifixtion. that's why He came. it blows my mind. so much about the bible, about Christ, i believe. i accept, even though i can't wrap my mind around it. what He endured for me is unfathomable. recently our youth pastor asked us how we would live every day if we had to watch the passion of the christ every morning before we started our day. that movie messed me UP. in the very best way. it was moving. i would live life differently...

mark 14:65 says, "they blindfolded him and beat him with their fists."
beat him with thier fists.
beat. him.
i've never been beaten.
i've never even been hit once in a way that really hurt.
i can't imagine having the crap beat outta me, while i can't even see where or when it's coming.

and another thing bothers me. pilate was a pawn.
there are things about God that are sometimes hard to swallow. he is no less God and because he is God he can do whatever he wants to.

pilate seemed regretful @ releasing barrabas instead of Jesus, talking about "washing his hands" of the whole thing. the bible is clear that pliate thought christ was falsely arrested and he basically said to the crowd, more than once, "are you sure...?"
but...
pilate never made a profession of faith that was recorded. he was used and wasn't one of God's treasures. his chosen. this is hard for me. it doesn't seem fair. but life is not fair. God is not fair.
so i guess the only thing i can take from this is that God can do, God can use, whatever, whomever, He wants to. and i need to be focused on being grateful that he chose me. saved me. loves me. uses me.

shakonohey!

this past fall we had a girls weekend. only the 3 of us. it was glorious.


on the way to our destination we joked about blogging about our trip.
i told them i would do it. (this was when we all had taken a facebook haitus.)

so i started saving things that we thought were hilarious in the notepad on my blackberry.
(and don't you hate when others don't find something funny that you, at the time, busted a gut laughing at...?)

lindsay said that she would blog too, but not really. like on paper. she would use a gluestick, literally "cut and paste" her photos in her blog. kinda like ole dolly. (there. that was one of the aforementioned funny things that we right nearly peed in our pants over.)


#1. ChickFilA 10:45. we had no comcept of time really because we were "winging" it on some of this trip. there were exactly three chicken minis left from breakfast, thank GOODNESS. however, after my sililoquy in the car on the WAY to chickfila about how glorious thier hashbrowns are and how they're better than anyone else's, lindsay got the last. dang....but she did save two for me. but none for mama. only we didn't even know mommer wanted one until she registered her complaint when got back in the car. we took a picture @ chick fil a...

please note that i have on no makeup.

#2. After being back in the car Gail said, "Chrissy, it's 11:43, put on your makeup."

#3. outlet mall shopping on day 2. mom (in a back brace, not important, but she was.) child in a stroller. stroller front sign: peanut allergy. stroller rear sign: peanut allergy. child bookbag hanging from stroller: peanut allergy sign. wow spelled backwards is still wow.

now i'm an elementary school teacher and i understand the severity of the peanut allergy.

however, he was with her. were the signs that much trouble to take off? did she think that someone was going to grab him outta there and shove something peanutty down his trap? it was just really too much. sadly, i did not get a photo of that.


#4. rack room. late afternoon. one of us, who will remain anonymous, said, "y'all, i tried on some of them frye boots. they are so expensive. fine, they're $180. can you believe that? i told myself that when i lose 30 lbs, i've gonna buy 'em for myself. i think i'm safe."

#5. i'm going to teach my mother to use a blinker if it KILLS me. "why won't they let me OVER?" "because they can't read your mind momma..."

#6. Disney store. (man, apparently all we did was shop!) weezie. is she cheap or thrifty? smart of over the top? upon our viewing of the halloween disney costumes my sister announced, "the pajama versions of most of these costumes are just as good as the $100 'official' costume. for real." i agreed with her. and then someone i bought a $21 red scarf at the gap. but it's a beauty and i knew i would "get a lotta wear out of it." (and now that it's feb i can say honestly that i did!)

women. who are related. we cover the gammut. (sp?) silly girls...

non dog lovers

people who don't like dogs or don't understand dogs act like they don't know anything about animals. this summer i spent a lot of time outside with zeva. and one morning i was reading and one of my neighbors made me really mad and really entertained simulataneously...

he looked at zeva and looked away, looked, looked away...and while he was walking away he kept looking back over his shoulder at her. so i say to you dear neighbor, "first of all, you know there is an invisible fence between you and her. you watched us put the thing in the ground. you have seen her avoid it like the plague for weeks. but even if there wasn't a fence, do you not understand that your repeated nervous eye contact is like a challenge to her? whether she interprets it as a game or a threat, she is a LOT less likely to just walk the other way if you will just walk away and stop looking. seriously don't turn around, good grief.

small town living

a few weeks ago i was at "the" ingles. i was feeling particularly haughty that day and was taking inventory of all that annoyed me:

-this persnikity (sp) old broad taking the 2nd magazine off the rack. i'm sure she'd heard the research on how many people touched that first one...

-the 16 year old who kept repeating loud enough to impress me, "i caint wait to git drunnnnnk tonight."

-the percentage of overweight people who passed me by

-and a woman who pinched the crap outta her misbehaving kid really got my insides going, but then...a wonderful thing happened.

one of the bag boys was pushing the buggy for a sweet frail ole bird back to her car. he was asking her questions, making eye contact and appeared genuinely interested in what she had to share with him. he wasn't too busy while they walked to her trunk.

sometimes small town living is more beautiful than anything else...

inspired

maemae inspired me to get back in the blogging game.
i have a lot to say.
i need to turn off my tv and read and write more.
lindsay r inspires me too...

so i start, tonight, after my date.
not with a guy.
girls night out date.

it's my party, and i'll work if i want to

2010. now i AM thirty. i can't believe it.
and i didn't even do what i said i would.
but i did spend the day with friends.

i read a friend's blog today and remembered that i had one.
that i'd neglected.

and i do love to write.
so much of writing is private.

but there are beautiful things to share.
so i will again.

i've been one of those people who have wanted more. more out of life. more out of a relationship. more money, more time, more... everything. but not in a greedy gluttonous way, just in an unfulfilled way.

i like to see the beauty in things. and while those two things may not make not seem like they fit together, they will...

i was in an office recently in the tiny town where I grew up. a town that i wanted some days desperately to escape from. a town where the people are not known for their intelligence or physical beauty, but for thier cars. thier job. thier church. thier...tan. how high their teased and sprayed hair is. a town much like that one that julia roberts lives in in the runaway bride.

so while i was there in this office two couples stopped by to have thier taxes prepared. they were gonna "git that free money from the government."

the first couple, a man and woman, came in together.
"mrs. ____, when is your birthday for this form"
"...1934. woo wee i'm so old."
"mr. ____ you didn't mind givin her a ride here did you?"
"well ah-course not, i rightly had to she is so old!" he banged his knee and shook with laughter, proud of his joke.
i found out later that she wasn't just a friend, but his "swee-dart." they had been sweedarts for quite some time, since thier first loves had past.

they asked about the office workers father, they grew up with him. since they hadn't had to file a return, they didn't know that he has been dead for almost 2 years."

later the other couple stopped in, two old birds. women. southern as the day is long. not from this tiny town of mine, but another, much like it, a few miles south.
"today is her birthday, my friend." they squealed with delight. the conversation flowed with unnessary, harmless gossip...
"well she moved over to that OTHER home. i heard the food is better there. but did you know they don't take insurance."
"he found a woman almost 15 years younger than him. what is that?" "well when you git to be our age i don't reckon it matters all that much!"

they went on for nearly a half hour catching up with the office worker, with each other...
"i sure do miss him [my husband.]"
"i wouldn't live anywhere but ______"

and while they were giggling like high school girls and just gabbin on i thought, beauty. this is it.
this is life.
this is what i want. to be that old and that happy. they were talking about actually looking back on life and being happy about what they saw, what they did. who they loved. how much.

that's what i want...